"Selfless women make for an efficient society but not a beautiful, true, or just one. When women lose themselves, the world loses its way. We do not need more selfless women. What we need right now is more women who have detoxed themselves so completely from the world's expectations that they are full of nothing but themselves. What we need are women who are full of themselves. A woman who is full of herself knows and trusts herself enough to say and do what must be done. She lets the rest burn." - Glennon Doyle, Untamed
I read this quote this morning during my morning meditation time. We are in a radical time right now. The world, our country, has lost its way. Except, I believe that it's always been lost. We have been living in a suppressed society from the beginning where the expectations are for people to behave so that we may have a more efficient society. The expectations have been that Women know their role, People of Color stay in their lane and we all let the men go to work for the good of us all, forsaking any real sense of self.
But Women have been finding themselves. Black and Brown citizens of this country are finally being seen, heard and listened to. The traditional keepers of power know it and are resisting this change. They know that the efficiency they once relied on is slipping from their grip. The efficiency that relied on the oppression of others. And we know that what we resist, is what persists.
We must continue to persist. We must continue to break the mold of "selflessness", the lie that we must get in line. We must do what must be done, in connection with a deep trust of love. Because here's the thing: we have seen this last week how those who would like to continue to remain the oppressor use their power. We have seen the force, the violence, the harm, the disconnect, all of it spurred by hate, filled with self loathing rather than self loving. We can see the shame and guilt that has been handed down to them by generations of ancestral unwellness.
Those of us who are disrupting the efficiency of the world by choosing to stand in the fullness of ourselves, of our personhood, we know better. We see the oppressors and those who continue to stand by them for what they are; insolent and wounded children who are acting out in tantrums because they have lost their way. A way that they never really owned because it relied solely on making sure that we didn’t have one either.
Anyone who has ever experienced the backhanded side of patriarchy, racism and white supremacy is not surprised by this. This is America. It always has been. No amount of nicesties or religion can erase that truth. And so there is a very big part of me, as I sit here now and watch the resistance of this change have their childish moment, that says “let it burn”. Let them burn themselves out so that we may actually be able to begin again, in the open air. Unshrouded and unobstructed by the insidious torments of efficiency.
And in the meantime, those of us who know better, may we do the work to become more and more and more full of ourselves. May we relieve ourselves of our selflessness for it only serves those who would wish us to continue walking around without a self to make things easier for them. But you and I, we do hard things. We do the work of learning to love ourselves in our fullness because we realize that THAT is the way to truly serve the greater good. May we recognize that our job is not to make this life more efficient for the privileged few, but instead more beautiful, more true and more just for ALL. And that work lives in the refusal to give up our self. Because that is far too high a price to pay for the sake of efficiency and we must become no longer willing to pay it.
is a Mama, Wife, Yoga and Meditation Teacher, Coach, Writer and Activist. You can read more about her here.