I had a terrible night’s sleep last night. Part of it was my own fault. I have started watching Alone on National Geographic, specifically season four because I am slightly obsessed with Brooke Whipple and her Girl in the Woods channel. I have these wild fantasies about becoming my own version of a girl in the woods, except I won’t be building a bush shelter any time soon. You would think watching a show about how incredibly difficult it actually is to exist in nature and all the potential hardships that come along with it would deter me from this fantasy. And yet, I find myself in the beginning stages of booking weekend camping trips and hiking trail excursions in the coming months. Last night, I simply could not turn it off and when I did, thought that I would get a solid six hours.
Any parent will tell you that these are naturally the nights when the child crawls into bed with you at two in the morning and the dog has to get up several times at night to go to the bathroom. So that was my night. And today, I’m tired.
After dropping Audrey off and calling several vets to see if I can get an appointment for what I suspect is a UTI in the dog, I came stared and stared at the computer, but simply could not focus my brain. I know there are so many things to “get done” and yet I can’t think of one.
So naturally, I did what any good walking nature girl would do and I threw on my sneakers and headed out the door. I took the normal neighborhood path. I didn’t have it in me to think beyond what I already know. I walked on the familiar earth and looked down as I put one foot in front of the other. I looked up and saw the blue sky. A butterfly flew past me and somewhere down the lane bunnies hopped in the grass.
As I rounded the corner and let the overgrown wildflowers kiss my legs, I had a thought “what honestly is more productive than this?” Seriously, here I was outside, moving my body and taking deep breaths. I was noticing the beauty that surrounded me and very much aware of how low energy I was. I was purposely taking care of myself. It didn’t matter that at that moment I wasn’t writing, or doing marketing for eMOTION or studying for my certifications. Yes, those things must happen and get done and they will. They will.
I think we too often forget that our worthiness exists already. We don’t have to build a fortune 500 company or make a ton of money or show how beautiful our life is on Instagram in order to be worthy. We already are. And the most productive thing we can ever do is to be present for our life as we are living it in honor of that worthiness.
After I finished my walk, I did one of the other most productive things you can do. I took a nap. I crawled right into bed and under a blanket at 2pm in the afternoon and I rested. Rest is my latest favorite rebellion. But I have more to write about that later...
is a Mama, Wife, Yoga and Meditation Teacher, Coach, Writer and Activist. You can read more about her here.