Imposter syndrome....that voice in your head that begs you to ask the question over and over "who am I to..." fill in the choice you would make if you weren't so busy doubting yourself.
Back in the days when I was an actress I was represented, by my estimation anyways, big time agents. I remember always worrying about the day that they would eventually realize I didn’t belong on their roster and would call me up and drop me. It was a constant thought in my head and every audition that I went to, I found myself wanting to do well, not because the work itself mattered but because of my immense fear that I needed to prove that I was good enough to my agents. It probably won't surprise you that this does not make for a good audition, let alone booking a job. Do you know what happened? One day I got a phone call that my agents were in fact dropping me. The very thing that I had been so focused on with intense worry, happened. It has been almost 10 years and as I look back on that time, here is what I have learned: If you actually believe that you don’t belong somewhere, you won't.
Let me be clear that .I am not saying that you shouldn't be there but rather that mindset is everything. In order to belong anywhere, in a career, a relationship, a group of friends we have to be first in the belief that we, in fact do deserve to exist there. Belonging isn't something that we can prove or measure, it is something that we must cultivate from our deepest self and put stock in, without ever being able to garner proof that it's true.
What we focus on is what we grow. I was always and only focused on not being good enough and so I cultivated that mindset which was present in the rooms I was standing in. It has been almost 10 years since this happened and I 100% believe now that it wasn’t my agents fault for dropping me, but my very own manifestation that made it happen.
I carry no guilt or sadness about what happened now. It was a hard lesson to learn and I am honestly grateful that I started learning it at such a young age in my adult life. Like any major life lesson, I am still in process with it, although I can say that these days, the imposter in my head gets interrupted fairly quickly with the voice of that says I in fact belong anywhere that I wish to. My favorite part of learning this lesson however comes from the realization that if I can so powerfully manifest what I deemed to be a negative outcome, I can 100% manifest the outcomes that I deem to be positive and in alignment with what I WANT to happen.
As Brene Brown says in her book Braving the Wilderness "Stop walking through the world looking for confirmation that you don't belong. You will always find it because you've made that your mission. Stop scouring people's faces for evidence that you're not enough. You will always find it because you've made that your goal. True belonging and self-worth are not goods; we don't negotiate their value with the world. The truth about who we are lives in our hearts. Our call to courage is to protect our wild heart against constant evaluation, especially our own. No one belongs here more than you."
AND for those of you who wish to find even more inspiration on this topic, check out this FREE CAREER MANIFESTATION WORKSHOP that my friend Shannon Algeo is hosting!
is a Mama, Wife, Yoga and Meditation Teacher, Coach, Writer and Activist. You can read more about her here.