Yoga is a remembering. Remembering who we are at our core, remembering that we are always enough even in our most challenging moments, and remembering what it is that stirs us up from the inside to create and share our most vulnerable selves with the world so that we may have an impact. This also means that sometimes we forget.
As a yoga teacher, I would love to say to you that I am on my yoga mat daily, I eat only the healthiest of foods and I meditate every day twice a day. I would be lying. The reality is that life as a yoga teacher is only one piece of my puzzle. I am a mama, a wife, and a new business owner. These are not excuses, these are just my reality and often it is our own reality that tends to get in our way of our yoga practice, mostly because we allow it. In the past couple of weeks I have made a more concerted effort to not let this be the case. My solution has been that before the sun even rises, I step onto my yoga mat. It is hard, and often I lack the motivation. There have been several mornings that I have not stuck with it. Yet, the mornings that I have, what inevitably happens is that there is always that moment where I remember. As I lie there in savasana, or sit quietly after my mediation having let go of all the titles and who I am to other people, I sit, just with myself and remember me.
You would think that after a while it would just become easier to show up and remind myself of this. Sometimes it does and there will be a solid streak of morning yoga sessions just me and the sun coming up. But the funny thing about yoga and about life is that it doesn't ever actually get easier, rather it ebbs and flows. What I realized is that those times when it isn't happening or there is a real struggle, instead of pushing and forcing my way there, its better to soften. To maybe take less time, or be ok with less effort. Or to be ok with not doing it at all because all that means is that there will be a moment soon that I will get the chance to remember again.
I realized a while ago that my all or nothing attitude doesn't actually serve me well. I would throw myself into something, get really excited about it, do it for a little while and then when the excitement would fizzle so would the action itself. Then would come the feelings of failure and doubt and guilt. I've made the decision that I'm going to simply do away with that now. I know how well this practice of yoga serves me and I will do my very best to be on my mat every morning. And I will forget again, and again, and again. But I have all the trust that I will keep finding my way back because in my deepest self, I know and I will remember.
is a Mama, Wife, Yoga and Meditation Teacher, Coach, Writer and Activist. You can read more about her here.